Foreword to "Resolving Relationship Difficulties"

It has always been a surprise to me how little attention has been given by cognitive behaviour therapists in developing a better understanding of how people can be helped to work on overcoming relationship difficulties in the UK, compared to the USA, Australia and continental Europe.

Maybe relationship difficulties are not such a problem in the UK or maybe people muddle through “for good or for better”. This we know is just not the case and the breakdown in relationships is as much a problem here, as anywhere else in the world. We also know that the impact this has on many couples, and often on their wider family and friends, can be devastating.

Fortunately there are a number of excellent therapists and counsellors in the UK, as well as, organisations, such as Relate, that are aimed at helping people gain a better understanding of themselves and their relationship. However, there has been less available for people who want to try and work things out for themselves. This book, the first in the Resolving series, fills that gap and provides a structured self-help guide that will help many couples identify, understand and begin to deal with their difficulties. It also introduces couples to cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), which has been shown to be an effective therapy for helping people deal with a wide range of problems common in everyday life.

Sadhana Damani and Larissa Clay have produced a self-help guide, which is full of information about relationships and about using CBT to problem solve. It uses this information to explore the strengths people have, as well as, the ways of resolving the difficulties that all too often arise and place a strain on couples and, if not faced and dealt with, will end in a compete breakdown of the relationship. It further provides a clear set of practical and easy to follow exercises, which will help to develop the relationship and work through issues that couples may be facing. The authors wrote at the beginning of the book that ”A good relationship is about building a positive partnership and working together”. This book will provide the basis for building and enhancing relationships or re-building relationships that have become difficult. I am sure it will be of benefit to many couples and individuals, as well as, being a very useful resource for those therapists and counselors who are working with couples facing relationship difficulties.

Rod Holland, British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies